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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in itta_yonina's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, January 4th, 2010
    3:25 am
    My Last Post
     2010 is for me in many ways the end of one life and the beginning of another. 2009 was hopefully my rock bottom, and hopefully now that I am a more stable individual who can get out of bed and do things like go to school without having to recuperate later with hours of Sesame Street and crying I can move on to accomplish the things that I want. So I am moving to New York, and as such, in a sense begin my adult life. In doing so I am finally severing some ties, I will not pretend I am not. I just want to do so with grace and not drag it out with awkwardness, nostalgia and melancholy as I have done in the year and a half since high-school. There are some people here I should have said goodbye to when we were younger and hadn't begun to inhabit completely separate worlds, but thank you for humoring me anyways. Thank you for everything.
    Friday, November 27th, 2009
    2:25 am
    I want to be strong, I want to be the strong one. Yet in my infinite weakness I want my thoughtfulness and care and love to be known. No one will read this, but the knowledge that it could be read is somehow comforting. I have been asked the same question recently by two people that I admire and hold dear, and if they were reading this and if there were such a thing as answers to such huge, existential questions as "how" and "why" one makes decisions, I think these two quotes, for me, respectively explain those questions.


    And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
    Anais Nin

    Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.
    Anais Nin
    Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
    10:49 pm
    Another year older
     I will be 19 in an hour, 6,935 days of life. I can't say I feel any smarter or stronger or better than 365 days ago, maybe a little bit wiser... maybe. 19 sounds so much older than 18 doesn't it?
    Saturday, January 10th, 2009
    7:53 pm
    Being the bitch of the world.
     Apparently the only inspiration I needed was the frustration, disappointment, shame, and freakish, eager need to please that a minimum wage job brings. Apparently listening to Rihanna, Britney Spears and The Veronicas, yeah I know their names... AND the words to their songs, has brought me closer to my inner creativity that has been dammed up for months. I don't even care that I am starting to get carpel tunnel from scooping ice-cream for the fake frappuccino drinks of teenage bitches, because I am writing again, HUZZAH.
    Monday, November 3rd, 2008
    8:58 pm
    I've been drifting in my own little world for months, with nothing to tie me down, and it is both beautiful and frightening up here.
    Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
    7:07 pm
    I think my body might be falling apart.
    Saturday, October 11th, 2008
    7:05 pm
    My life
     Sick with some weird stomach thing, home alone, can't even find one of the cats to cuddle with, going to go finish watching Hannibal... alone, tired, yet somehow oddly more hopeful than I have been in a while.
    Saturday, September 27th, 2008
    7:58 pm
    Camping
     Is pretty fun. S'mores are the best thing in the world. I sing "Baby Got Back" when drunk.
    Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
    10:19 pm
    AAHHH
     Cathy has scared and threatened me into staying with you Livejournal.... why does Cathy have such power over me? Whatever fine, I'm going to post all the fucking time now Cathy, your life is going to be flooded with my Livejournal posts, and you won't even know what to do!

    In other news I'm going camping for the first time this weekend! Yay!
    Monday, September 22nd, 2008
    9:51 pm
    I don't know how to break this nicely LJ....I don't think it's going to work out between you and me, it's not you it's me.... I just don't feel the same way about you that I used to..... please don't make this harder than it already is.....
    we had some good times... but I just think we should end it.
    Sunday, August 31st, 2008
    5:32 pm
    Spreading the gospel of Skins
     You should all watch the show Skins, I guarantee you you'll like it.
    Thursday, August 28th, 2008
    9:41 pm
    Ok College
     Getting free ice-cream really brightens up a day.
    Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
    2:01 pm
    I'm going to Seattle with Cathy and Danielle in 2 days to visit Kendall. This should be interesting.
    Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
    11:52 am
    It still feels like high school.
    Sunday, June 8th, 2008
    8:42 pm
    The Subway
     The worst feeling in the world, riding on the Subway, walking the streets and seeing hundreds of people that you so wish you were with. Enivisioning what your day would be like if you were with them. It's an impossible feeling, just wanting to know these people, to be a part of their lives. And there I am... following my family pretending that they are not who I'm with, but everyone knows.
    Monday, May 26th, 2008
    10:45 pm
    Edie Cash Cash
     90% of my interactions with people lately have been through plexiglass and have involved money. I dream about making change sometimes... I'm not kidding. Today when I took a man's credit card his last name was Cash Cash, as is required I looked at his driver's license. That was his real last name. AMAZING! I want to marry him... if only he didn't seem gay and have a mullet with gelled out puff bangs.

    Current Mood: work
    Thursday, May 1st, 2008
    10:03 pm
    So Tired...
     Battle of the Bands was super fun, there is really nothing better than being up there on stage. Why did I put off my Hamlet essay until now? That was a really bad idea.
    Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
    2:39 pm
    If You'd Like A Laugh....
     www.getmortified.com
    Friday, April 25th, 2008
    3:42 pm
    Shitty
     I realized that you never stop missing the people you used to be friends with. Pre-school, elementary, middle school. Especially those friends from high school who dropped you... and sure you call them stupid or a bitch but you still get that inexplicable yet strong urge to hang out with them every once in a while. Because you miss them.
    Monday, April 21st, 2008
    7:49 pm
    Fuck College
     I can't do this "college" thing. I think I'll become a chocolatier or a baker. Move somewhere beautiful and remote with cobbled streets... just make chocolate or cookies all day with some lovely vague man of the passionate-brilliant-sexy type lingering about for me. I keep drifting off into this fantasy when I should be listening to people talk about their kickass after-prom parties or something about Hamlet. No one fantasizes about taking gen. eds. at their local college and affairs with boys who play beer pong, then again maybe boys who play beer pong are more brilliant and passionate than I am giving them credit for.
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